Most important question...Three and half year spent as a Software engineer....Few more; rather many more would pass as a engineer - But do I know why did I choose this profession..? did I really choose amongst options... or did it happen to me...With benefit of hindsight, I can say, I never choose the profession... But it happened to me...
अनंत फांदींचा फटका अनुसरण सोपे होतं...
बिकट वाट वहीवाट नसावी, धोपट मार्ग सोडू नको.....
To answer the question, I will have to go little back.. How was I in my studies...Good...amm..rather not so good not so bad...between 5th to 15th rank...i.e. that's always on the hinges...potential to top... never realised....with no regreats
Subjects I liked..It's mixed bag..Doesn't fit in any conventional stream our system has...Marathi, History, Geometry, Biology, Civics..
So I went ahead with usual choice that people follow.. the Science stream...
And similar thing happened after higher secondary, usual choice that people with "average" marks follow - get an admisstion in some xyz engineering college.. so did I...got an admission for B.E. (I.T.)..
How much did I knew about I.T. then..? Maybe just one thing.. that I would get some job with better salary if I pass.. that's it...No other thing.. Some relatives working in IT, going abroad, earning in Dollars; was kind of enough information to decide what I would be doing for rest of the life..Was that really enough.. I would have to put question mark here. ..
"Was that really enough infomation to decide what I would be doing for rest of the life?"
That's not a boolean answer, so I would neither say Yes nor will I say No.
So with days passing, exams approching, semesters rolling, I learned programming... The S/W Engineering....And that was bound to happen, once commited...(naah... admitted in college), I did it... and I know, I did it better....
As expected got a job after college; In company known for better engineers...Learned the ways of business... months passed by and are passing by...I am doing my bit...Yes the word is "BIT"...it fits correctly ... smallest entity in computer parlance.. I try to be best in doing my bit, but I know its only0 "BIT"..smallest entity...
Do I enjoy the work I do..?
Do I add value with my work?
Or
The most important question is.. .
Have I reached to my potential best?
Let's target one by one...
Do I enjoy the work I do..?
It feels good to hear Steve Jobs saying "Do what you enjoy most doing".. It can be easy for some.. But Its difficult for me...
I would enjoy being soldier and dying in battle killing few Kasab's
I would enjoy being librarian and sitting in library; reading for complete life..
I would enjoy being primary teacher and teaching kids
I would enjoy being in govt.services to push India forward.. (might sound over ambitious, but it's true)
And I do also enjoy writing code and delivering the best quality S/W..
So comes the next question..Does it add value..?
I feel most of the times...No... Problems that I solve being an engineer are different from the world I live in. I know - "Automated Integrated systems, High reliability, Better user experience, Increasing efficiency, Better output" - these are the words used to market S/Ws. But at time using heavy words hides truth...and I know my truth, and will leave your truth to be found by yourself... (Topic of this write up is not to analyse advantages of IT, hence I won't enter in this area.)
In one liner, Equation of "Life as Input" and "Value added in S/W I build" .. Doesn't match... rather there is no match.. Life is too big to compare...
Now the last question, Have I reached to my potential best.? Did I push myself to excellance?.
.
.
.
.
This is very difficult and embarrasing. In my heart, I know that what I am doing now as S/W engineer can be done by any Tom, Dick and Harry..And by saying that I am admitting that, I have turned into -
"Stupid common man working for earning living; who seems to have forgoten that Living also means Living the dreams; Reaching ones potential best"
So what is stopping me from reaching potential best? Is it cushion, safety provided by IT job. Why I am not daring to leave safe IT job and enter into field of uncertainity of govt. service? ..Yes its the cushion..
Sudhir Phadke's song describes this very correctly -
आकाशी झेप घेरे पाखरा, सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
तुज भवती वैभव माया,
फळ रसाळ मिळते खाया ||2||
सुख लोलुप झाली काया,
हा कुठवर घेशी आसरा,
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
घर कसले हि तर कारा
विष समान मोती चारा
मोहाचे बंधन धारा
तुज अडवितो हा कैसा पिंजरा
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
तुज पंख दिले देवाने,
कर विहार सामर्थ्याने,
दरी डोंगर, हिरवी राणे,
जा ओलांडून या सरिता सागरा
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
आकाशी झेप घेरे पाखरा, सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
कष्टाविन फळ न मिळते,
तुज कळते तरी ना वळते
हृदयात व्यथा हि जडते,
का जीव होई पामरा
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
घामातून मोती फुलले,
श्रमदेव घरी अवतरले,
घर प्रसन्नतेने नटले ||2||
हा योग जीवनी आला साजिरा
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
आकाशी झेप घेरे पाखरा, सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
सोन्याचा पिंजरा...बरोबर...हाच शब्द आहे..
सोन्याचा पिंजरा...
सोन्याचा पिंजरा...
(After writing this, I found this as little negative writing, but I want to put things as is.., there is nothing negative, positive, It Just "IS")
अनंत फांदींचा फटका अनुसरण सोपे होतं...
बिकट वाट वहीवाट नसावी, धोपट मार्ग सोडू नको.....
To answer the question, I will have to go little back.. How was I in my studies...Good...amm..rather not so good not so bad...between 5th to 15th rank...i.e. that's always on the hinges...potential to top... never realised....with no regreats
Subjects I liked..It's mixed bag..Doesn't fit in any conventional stream our system has...Marathi, History, Geometry, Biology, Civics..
So I went ahead with usual choice that people follow.. the Science stream...
And similar thing happened after higher secondary, usual choice that people with "average" marks follow - get an admisstion in some xyz engineering college.. so did I...got an admission for B.E. (I.T.)..
How much did I knew about I.T. then..? Maybe just one thing.. that I would get some job with better salary if I pass.. that's it...No other thing.. Some relatives working in IT, going abroad, earning in Dollars; was kind of enough information to decide what I would be doing for rest of the life..Was that really enough.. I would have to put question mark here. ..
"Was that really enough infomation to decide what I would be doing for rest of the life?"
That's not a boolean answer, so I would neither say Yes nor will I say No.
So with days passing, exams approching, semesters rolling, I learned programming... The S/W Engineering....And that was bound to happen, once commited...(naah... admitted in college), I did it... and I know, I did it better....
As expected got a job after college; In company known for better engineers...Learned the ways of business... months passed by and are passing by...I am doing my bit...Yes the word is "BIT"...it fits correctly ... smallest entity in computer parlance.. I try to be best in doing my bit, but I know its only0 "BIT"..smallest entity...
Do I enjoy the work I do..?
Do I add value with my work?
Or
The most important question is.. .
Have I reached to my potential best?
Let's target one by one...
Do I enjoy the work I do..?
It feels good to hear Steve Jobs saying "Do what you enjoy most doing".. It can be easy for some.. But Its difficult for me...
I would enjoy being soldier and dying in battle killing few Kasab's
I would enjoy being librarian and sitting in library; reading for complete life..
I would enjoy being primary teacher and teaching kids
I would enjoy being in govt.services to push India forward.. (might sound over ambitious, but it's true)
And I do also enjoy writing code and delivering the best quality S/W..
So comes the next question..Does it add value..?
I feel most of the times...No... Problems that I solve being an engineer are different from the world I live in. I know - "Automated Integrated systems, High reliability, Better user experience, Increasing efficiency, Better output" - these are the words used to market S/Ws. But at time using heavy words hides truth...and I know my truth, and will leave your truth to be found by yourself... (Topic of this write up is not to analyse advantages of IT, hence I won't enter in this area.)
In one liner, Equation of "Life as Input" and "Value added in S/W I build" .. Doesn't match... rather there is no match.. Life is too big to compare...
Now the last question, Have I reached to my potential best.? Did I push myself to excellance?.
.
.
.
.
This is very difficult and embarrasing. In my heart, I know that what I am doing now as S/W engineer can be done by any Tom, Dick and Harry..And by saying that I am admitting that, I have turned into -
"Stupid common man working for earning living; who seems to have forgoten that Living also means Living the dreams; Reaching ones potential best"
So what is stopping me from reaching potential best? Is it cushion, safety provided by IT job. Why I am not daring to leave safe IT job and enter into field of uncertainity of govt. service? ..Yes its the cushion..
Sudhir Phadke's song describes this very correctly -
आकाशी झेप घेरे पाखरा, सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
तुज भवती वैभव माया,
फळ रसाळ मिळते खाया ||2||
सुख लोलुप झाली काया,
हा कुठवर घेशी आसरा,
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
घर कसले हि तर कारा
विष समान मोती चारा
मोहाचे बंधन धारा
तुज अडवितो हा कैसा पिंजरा
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
तुज पंख दिले देवाने,
कर विहार सामर्थ्याने,
दरी डोंगर, हिरवी राणे,
जा ओलांडून या सरिता सागरा
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
आकाशी झेप घेरे पाखरा, सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
कष्टाविन फळ न मिळते,
तुज कळते तरी ना वळते
हृदयात व्यथा हि जडते,
का जीव होई पामरा
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
घामातून मोती फुलले,
श्रमदेव घरी अवतरले,
घर प्रसन्नतेने नटले ||2||
हा योग जीवनी आला साजिरा
सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
आकाशी झेप घेरे पाखरा, सोडी सोन्याचा पिंजरा ||2||
सोन्याचा पिंजरा...बरोबर...हाच शब्द आहे..
सोन्याचा पिंजरा...
सोन्याचा पिंजरा...
(After writing this, I found this as little negative writing, but I want to put things as is.., there is nothing negative, positive, It Just "IS")
Is it to provide the class with programming solutions :P ...I'm waiting for this one
ReplyDeleteA good post. I can relate to it :)
ReplyDelete